Dear Rach,
I’m a straight man and recently I’ve been masturbating and experimenting with anal play. The only issue that I have is that I’m really enjoying it. Does that mean I’m gay? I’m worried about telling my girlfriend about it in case she thinks I am.
Kevin- Plymouth
Kevin, I get asked this question all the time. The answer is no (a BIG no) This definitely does not make you gay. Your anus is an erogenous zone, with lots of sensitive and pleasurable nerve endings. So in my opinion, you’d be crazy not to stimulate it. To be gay you’d need to be attracted to men, not just anal stimulation.
Your ‘P Spot’ (prostate) is located about an inch and a half to three inches inside of your anus, towards the front of your body. It protrudes out a bit and feels harder and almost ridged like the texture of a walnut. Stimulating this hot spot, especially during masturbation can be highly enjoyable and bring a whole new dimension to your sex life. I encourage you to experiment. By doing it alone (at first) you’ll know exactly what and how you like things. This can be a nice way to begin because you can explore and discover things on your own, with no pressure. Then when you are ready, you can explain and show your partner how you like to be stimulated after.
I also get many letters from men saying that they would like their girlfriend to use a strap-on on them but again, they are worried that their desire makes them gay. They are also worried about their girlfriend’s reaction. I can’t lie to you, some women will find this a turn off. Everyone has the right to their opinion, neither one of you are right or wrong. Knowing that you both aren’t into the same things sexually is actually a good thing. Because it means you can decide if the relationship is right for you in general. But the only way you’ll find out is if you break those barriers and have the conversation.
I feel that one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make in life is to suppress themselves sexually. Life is too short and there are people out there that will be really turned on by the same things you are. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or someone else, you have a right to enjoy and embrace your sexuality however non PC or socially accepted it is.
Talk to your girlfriend about your new desires without worrying or assuming her reaction. For all you know, she may be more into it than you are!
Good luck and let me know how you get on.
Rach x
