My girlfriend never wants sex anymore
My girlfriend never wants sex anymore. We’ve been together for 5 years and for the first two years we were at it like rabbits. It’s got less and less and now she never wants sex at all.
What can I do?
Thanks for your email. You are not alone on this Simon. I get many clients coming to me with the same issue. I can’t lie to you, there could be a million reasons why your girlfriend has gone off sex. But in my experience as sex and relationship coach (and obviously being a woman myself) I can tell the three of the most common reasons women go off sex. I’ll then give you some advice on how to turn things around.
- She’s bored.
- She doesn’t feel sexy anymore
- Stressed with work/ family or social life
Boredom – Don’t panic. This can be changed very quickly. All you need to do is be a little spontaneous. Learn some new skills and sexual techniques so you are keeping her excited and on her toes. Try to take it back to how it was at the beginning. Go out together and try to do things that you haven’t done before. Movies and cinema is… ok but it’s nothing to write home about. Go to an adult adventure playground, a circus, a midnight walk. Things that excite and interest you both. It will get you out of that comfort zone and give you a reason to reconnect. Make sure you sign up so you’ll receive my free sex tips sent directly to you and also check out my online workshops and master class info where you can learn loads of new and exciting techniques.
Doesn’t feel sexy anymore/ Confidence issues – The best thing you can do is reassure her. Men are quite famous for forgetting to give their women compliments regularly. It really can make all the difference and it’s not hard for you to do. She needs to know that you think she is sexy and attractive to you. Maybe go to a naughty shop together and pick out a sexy outfit or a new sex toy. Remember I do sex toys reviews so if you are unsure of which products to go for I can help with that too.
Stressed –Try to find out what’s bothering her. Some people clam up when they are stressed or they try to avoid it and hope it goes away. Everyone handles it differently but we all have one thing in common when it comes to stress. We want the person we love to give a damn. Talk to her and see if there is anything you can do to alleviate that stress. Not sex related things, I mean practically or even just being a shoulder to cry on or an ear for her to sound off to. When she knows you care and you are taking the time out to find out if she’s ok, she’ll automatically feel closer to you and grateful for your support.
I hope this has been helpful Simon. Remember that there are always things you can do to turn this around. Talk to her and find out how she feels about your sex life. She may have issues that she’s too nervous or worries about speaking to you about.
Good luck and I’ll speak to you soon.