I have a kissing situation.
I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for three months now. He is a wonderful man and we just clicked from the start but I don’t like the way he kisses. He’s really fast and almost jerky. I don’t want to hurt his feelings by telling him I don’t like kissing him but it’s actually starting to put me off him.
What should I do or how should I handle this?
There are lots of ways you can approach the kissing situation you’re in without hurting your partner’s feelings. The fact that you are both quite new in the relationship is also a good thing. It’s great to start as you mean to go on rather than getting in to a routine of holding things back from your partner. Kissing is such a wonderful thing to do so it’s important that you are both enjoying it.
I am a strong believer in practice days with your lover. Tell him you want to practice some kissing techniques and you take the lead. Make it fun and cute. Tell him to follow your lead and react appropriately. Start off with some little pecks. Do short ones and then longer ones, ask him which kissing style he prefers. Take breaks in between where you look at him and smile a cheeky smile.
Now try some different kissing techniques getting more passionate and intense as you go. Start with some ‘snogging’ (without tongues) and just work on positioning and co-ordinating your lips so you’re synchronised. Try slow kissing and then faster, experimenting with pressure. Again, ask him which he likes and tell him which you like.
Now go in for full on passion kissing. Sit on him straddled. Wrap your arms around his shoulders and run your fingers through his hair or run your nails down his back.
Don’t be afraid to talk through what you’re going to do. If you’ve never done this before it may seem strange at first. But it is the perfect way to open up the communication gateway. When you lead like this – asking the questions and saying confidently what you like. You are actually making your partner feel more secure because then he will know what you like. If you don’t tell him he can only guess.
Always remember to focus on the positive praise with anything you want more of (not just kissing) During intimate moments, when you breath heavily, moan/ whimper or congratulate your partner on the ways that they please you you’re making it really clear to them what turns you on which in turn prevents you ever needing to say ‘I don’t like the way you do that’ which can hard for some people to say or accept.
I hope this has been helpful Freya. Good luck